PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.
“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”
Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.
“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.”
Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.
“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”
Some Facebook users were furious upon hearing the shocking news.
“What am I going to do without Facebook?” said Denise Bradshaw, a high school student from Indiana. “My life revolves around it. I’m on Facebook at least 10 hours a day. Now what am I going to do with all that free time?”
However, parents across the country have been experiencing a long anticipated sense of relief.
“I’m glad the Facebook nightmare is over,” said Jon Guttari, a single parent from Detroit. “Now my teenager’s face won’t be glued to a computer screen all day. Maybe I can even have a conversation with her.”
Those in the financial circuit are criticizing Zuckerberg for walking away from a multibillion dollar franchise. Facebook is currently ranked as one of the wealthiest businesses in the world, with economists estimating its value at around 7.9 billion.
But Zuckerberg remains unruffled by these accusations. He says he will stand by his decision to give Facebook the axe.
“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”
The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.

If facebook will be erased, what'll facebookers do?

A New Zodiac Sign

NEW YORK – Due to the movement of the Earth’s axis, there is a new Zodiac sign. That means you have a new sign!
We’ve all been there. First dates, blind dates, set-ups by mutual friends. And if you’re anything like me, the first thing you always ask before venturing out into the cold, dark night of dating is: what’s his sign?
Well last evening, which was indeed chilly, I went on a lovely date with my first Ophiuchus, the just revealed 13th sign of the zodiac. And let me tell you, he was hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut!  Not to mention, we’re totally compatible. Where have the Ophiuchuses been all my life?
And where did this new sign come from, you logically wonder. Well, it turns out it’s been there all along.

According to Minnesota Planetarium Society board member Parke Kunkle, it’s always been in the stars. Star signs were created 2,000 years ago by tracking the sun’s location in the sky each month. Over time, the moon’s gravitational pull has slowly moved the Earth in its axis, creating about a one-month bump in the stars’ alignment, reports the Minnesota Star Tribune.

So what does it all mean? What’s my  sign now? I’m a Libra, and even with the new calendar will I stay a Libra. I’ve typically tried to stick with Gemini or Aquarian men as advised. But this new sign, the Ophiuchus, blows both of those prime compatibility matches out of the water. So if you’re a Libra like me, you may find a streak of lusty luck with your own Ophi gent.

But watch out! The Ophinuchus is the serpent holder sign. Sexy, strong, and a little scary, right? Just be smart if you’re looking for love, the serpent holder man is also sly, fast, and venomous. Thus, he’s not compatible with ladies of every sign.

We Libras, as well as the rest of the water signs, can probably handle it. Capricorns have a distinct resilient energy that would pair well with the Ophi’s cunning intensity. Same goes for the Cancers, but their need for safety may pose some relationship issues with the serpent holder’s risk-taking tendencies.
The New Signs According to Professor Kunkle:
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
Pisces: March 11-April 18
Aries: April 18-May 13
Taurus: May 13-June 21
Gemini: June 21-July 20
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
Ophiuchus* Nov. 29-Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20
*Discarded by the Babylonians because they wanted 12 signs per year.